Beach Town Bus Driver

A grey-haired fellow wearing shorts, a tee-shirt and flip-flops boarded the bus up around 100th Street. It was obvious from the slur in his speech that he had been out bar hopping. He took the very front seat on the right side of the bus and immediately started talking to a young man seated directly across from him. “I sense something scientific going on here. Are you a student in the sciences? I’m psychic. I feel that you will be responsible for an important scientific discovery sometime in the future. Do you know Jeane Dixon? She’s my aunt. I’m psychic.” The baffled young man was speechless as he looked around at his friends. I doubt if anybody on that bus other than me and the psychic had ever heard of the late Jeane Dixon. She was a popular astrologer and psychic in the 1960s and 1970s. Her horoscope column ran in many newspapers throughout the United States. Of course, that was long before any of the kids riding on this bus were born.

The psychic turned to me and said, “I need to go to Fresco’s. Do you know where that is?” I was tempted to say, “Sure, I know where it is. You mean to tell me you don’t.” But, instead I just said, “Yeah, it’s on 83rd. There’s a stop at 84th. I’ll drop you off there.” As we approached 84th I said, “Here’s your stop buddy. You can see the sign for Fresco’s from here.” He replied, “Oh, I forgot. Somebody took my car keys. I can’t get off here.” Apparently, earlier in the evening, one of his clairvoyant companions decided that it would be best to separate the psychic from his car keys. Remarkable powers of induction! So he asks me, “I guess it will be OK to leave my car there tonight. What do you think?” What do I think? You’re the psychic! What do you think? Hold on, let me check my Magic 8 Ball here . . . Outlook Not So Good. “Gee, I really don’t know buddy but I can tell you this. If the number sixty-five keeps coming into your mind it might be because the vehicle impound lot is located at 65th Street.”

He thought it over for a while and decided he would go home. Along the way he reminded us again that he is psychic and his aunt is you-know-who. He also predicted a major earthquake here along the east coast. I'm not going to worry a whole lot about that one but we’ll see what happens. “I need to get off at 28th Street, are we at twenty-eight yet?” “Oh, sorry buddy. We’re at sixty-eight. Nice try though. You got one number right and one number wrong.”

He encouraged the young man to “Keep studying that science. It’s going to be important one day.” Then, at 28th Street, he vanished from our presence with a stagger and a wave.