Beach Town Bus Driver

I just got finished back-to-back shifts; one shift of driving Monday night and one shift of training on Tuesday morning. My passenger count dropped way back to about 140 as the town emptied out on Monday at the end of the Memorial day holiday weekend. I requested to take my bus off the street at 2:00am so I could get home for a few hours of sleep before training on the articulating bus on Tuesday. The supervisor was agreeable and I squeezed in a three hour nap.
Driving the R-Tic was fun, but the most interesting part of the day was listening to two of the drivers trade their "growing up in West Virginia" stories --- no electricity in the house, not talking on a telephone until age 19, cooking and heating the house with coal that they blew out of the mountain with dynamite brought home from the mine by dad. I don't know why dad didn't just bring home some coal. I guess it was easier to steal the dynamite. Ah, those were the days, eh?

A very bubbly Rosie Perez-type Puerto Rican teenager has been riding the bus at all hours of the night. I've been quite suspicious about what she is up to. She claims to be 18 going on 19 but I think she is more like 16. One rider took a good look at her and excaimed, "Wow, that's a pretty large pair of hoop earrings you have there!" It's true. She is always wearing big hoop earrings, but I was sure he was going to comment on the other pair of large things she is carrying around.
I asked her, "So, Rosie, what are you up to tonight?" "Oh, I have to find my stupid little brother and bring him home." She always claims to be out looking for her brother, whom I had never seen. This morning she bounced onto the bus with a 12 or 13-year-old boy in tow. "Rosie! Is that your little brother?" "Yes, this is Miguel. He's so stupid! Can you believe he called me at 3-o'clock in the morning to come and get him from the boardwalk?" Well Rosie, I'm not sure. But I'm glad to find out that your story is at least partially true.

I think I mentioned that I had 60 passengers on Monday. Tonight my passenger count was about 500. Multiply that by some 20 buses. Let's just say that, based on my observations, several thousand of God's children won't be attending the Holy Mass this morning.

I never really understood the meaning of that expression. I looked it up and found this:

NOUN:
Informal - A vacation during which one engages in activity that is similar to one's usual work.

But, tonight I define it this way:

NOUN:
Informal - Discovery of a half of a case of Heineken beer in your bus at the end of your shift. Most likely, it was left behind by an annoying drunk who suddenly became very unhappy shortly after departing your bus.

I omitted a small part of the story from Monday's shift. As I said, I put 100 miles on the bus and had no problems at all . . . until the last 10 feet! (3 meters, for my European readers.) I was parking the bus in the yard and I crashed into another bus ! ! ! I didn't damage the other bus but I put a dent and some scratches in my bus. It was three-o'clock in the morning, nobody saw me, and the damage was minor. Since most of the buses are banged up and scratched up, I probably could have gotten away with saying nothing. Of course, I couldn't do that. I went into the dispatcher and said, "I crashed the bus." She just nonchalantly handed me an accident report to fill out. I filled it out and punched out and went home. I was off the next two days and expected to receive a phone call from a supervisor about the accident. Tuesday - nothing. Wednesday - nothing. Thursday I returned to work. I had a sudden anxiety attack while riding to work. I thought I might walk in and find out that I was suspended and taken off of the schedule pending investigation of the accident. Nope! It was as if nothing ever happened. So, I drove Thursday night. Again, about 100 miles (160 km, for my European readers) - and this time, no crashes! Believe me, I was driving like a turtle in that yard.
Now it's Friday and the telephone rings. "Hello?" "Hello, Bill, this is Jim." Uh-ohhhh, the Operations Supervisor . . . this is it! "I'm looking for people to train to drive the R-Tics and I think you can handle it. Are you interested?" "Huh? Wha...? Sure, I can do that." Does he know I crashed the 40-foot bus? And now he wants me to drive the 60-foot articulating bus?
"OK, great. Come in on Tuesday morning and we'll get you started on the training." "OK, thanks. See you Tuesday."
Here's a photo I found on-line of an R-Tic: http://galleries.cleanairbus.com/galleries/wmatabus_ikarus/P1010772

More tomorrow!

The Memorial Day holiday weekend gets under way tomorrow. Tonight was probably the last slow night until September. I saw Phillip on the street twice tonight but he did not ride the bus. The second time I saw him, he was standing on the corner and I got the red light. I beeped the horn of the bus and waved him over. "Hey Phillip, how are you doing tonight? Is everything OK?" In his own very pleasant manner, he said he was fine. I had packed an extra peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some snacks and a bottle of spring water just in case I came across him tonight. "I have an extra sandwich. Do you want it?" "Sure," he said, "but I could really use a bus ticket." "No, I'm sorry Phillip, I can't give away bus tickets." And I handed him the bag. I guess his aunt didn't FedEx him that ticket back home yet. And, I guess that if any of his stories are true, it would be the part about the local police giving him a hard time. All of the "summer cops" are here just waiting for the summer crowds. It seems like you see a police car every other block and they don't have much to do yet. I'm sure they all know Phillip and they probably tell him to move along every time they see him. I didn't see him any more after I gave him the food, so maybe he found a hiding place for the night. The guy doesn't seem to be a smoker or a drinker and he is always clean shaven. He seems to have a perpetual smile but his face is starting to look a little rugged from constant exposure to the weather. I doubt if he bothers anybody. He told me the other night that every time he goes looking for a job, the prospective employers call the cops. Of course, he sees that as part of the big conspiracy against him. When he talks about his problems, he doesn't seem the least bit angry about anything. It's as if he is simply trying to rationally figure out how to get out from under the conspiracy. Very strange. Perhaps more later if I see him again.

A pretty quiet night. Put 100 miles on the bus but only had about 70 passengers. Had a few memorable customers. Two middle-aged couples who were out together for drinks, and obviously had overdone it, were quite loud and obnoxious. I made a few comments which they thought were hilarious. As they got off of the bus, they exclaimed, "We'll see you tomorrow!" My deadpan reply was, "Can't wait." Laughter again. (I guess this must be why they serve alcohol in comedy clubs.) I spoke to a girl from Thailand. She was finishing up three months of working here and getting ready to go back home for school --- exactly the opposite of what I was expecting to hear. Most students are finishing school now and preparing to come here to work for the summer. The schedule must be different in Thailand. And finally, a 42-year-old guy named Phillip who told some bizarre stories about how he lost his fortune due to a conspiracy against him involving everyone from church officials to high ranking politicians in Washington right down to the local police. I would like to talk to him some more but I'm not sure I'll be seeing him again. He says he is just about out of money and he is waiting for a bus ticket from his aunt to get back home. We'll see about that.
My regular work week will be Thursdays through Mondays, so now I am off until Thursday.

Tonight I will start my summer job as a transit bus driver on the overnight shift in a beach resort town. I'm hoping that driving the "nightline" will provide some entertaining stories that I can share here. This week should be pretty quiet, as it is the final off-season week leading up to the Memorial Day holiday weekend and the unofficial start of summer. Things should heat up fast with the invasion of "June Bugs" (high school and college kids celebrating Senior Week as the school year ends.)